PREPARING FOR DIVORCE
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Preparing for divorce
Before I begin, I am not an attorney…more importantly I am not YOUR attorney. I am a guy that has been in the trenches with this, learned (I think) a couple of things, and decided to share my thoughts. The advice is worth what you paid for it…
This list by “Tom” (can’t find the link to give him credit) and all I can say in hindsight is I WISH I would have followed every word of it instead of treating the ex as a human being. This call in to Dave Ramsey’s show was a carbon copy of what I went through and I wish I would have ended it sooner.
Once you have made that decision (which should not come lightly), you need to execute the plan, de-humanize the other party and treat it like a business contract….because let me tell you, she has already done that to you.
Everything (except trust your attorney) is 110% correct. Don’t even trust your attorney, his/her job is to bleed you dry as well. EVERYTHING in the family court world is meant to bleed you dry.
Read and memorize “the list”….and FOLLOW IT TO THE LETTER!! Cannot stress that enough.
The most important thing here is to be involved in your children’s lives before, during, and after the divorce. The courts, attorneys, judges, and ex’s priority is to replace your presence with your paycheck. Your soon-to-be ex-wife is too stupid to figure that out and will play into it because of obvious reasons.
This short video explains why. As of 2019, only one state (Kentucky) has equal shared parenting because of all of the money involved with keeping you a slave to the state and a paycheck. Hear this attorney openly admit why.
Here are the current national averages for custody breakdown:
There is a lot more to say about this and will be covered elsewhere, the point is to explain that there is nothing common sense about what will happen in court. Everyone is against you (including your own attorney ). By this time, your lovely wife has learned from her friends and/or attorney all about the silver bullet. Here is a brief synopsis of what it is:
This guy spent over half a million on false DV charges.
Understand that Family Court will weaponize your children for profit.
I can’t stress the route this will take enough. During my ex-wife’s 3rd time initiated divorce against me(more on that), she pulled this nonsense. Thankfully, I followed Tom’s info and kept a recorder on me 24/7, and shut it down immediately (had audio of her being the aggressor) while she grabbed her arm crying and telling the courts how I “abused” her. Pulled out the recording and started to play it…she quickly changed her demeanor and said that she didn’t want to pursue it any further…..but the wounded kitten could have gotten a Grammy for her performance.
Same thing when cops are called out. Have the recorder going. Although the police were going to put her in jail for lying, the report was VERY generic when presented in court.
Demand nothing less than 50/50 (if it makes sense). Non-negotiable! Do not do temporary orders or anything without that. Custody evaluations are a waste of time and money. Your attorney will tell you that standard possession (or extended possession) is the norm….do not listen to them or take that. Demand 50/50 and establish it before temporary orders are even discussed. Here are a number of “50/50” schedules:
Personally, I did the 2-2-3 wrap plan, which ensures that the children have regular contact with each parent. I will leave you with statistics of kids that have their father’s reduced to visitors: