As I have mentioned before, this website (and blog) is to get information out, but kind of a therapy for me, and this is just one such therapy, talking about my life. Now, before anyone gets that “he’s gone off the deep end” or that I am going to “do something”, please get that out of your head, I have ZERO intention of doing something or whatever someone may think because I end up writing about stuff. These are all just facts of my life and I am letting it all out. I am a happy person and have a great life now.
So, as VERY few of you know I have an older Bio-brother who was given my late fathers name. To give you some background, he was born deaf. This was due to my mother having rubella, german measles, I believe although she is/was (have no idea if she is still alive or not) whacky/nutty anyway, I think she went nuttier with guilt because she felt responsible for “giving” my brother this birth defect. I wish she would have realized that it was not her fault, but these things “happen”. But, I digress, that is a blog post for another time.
Don Jr (hereafter referred to as Donnie) was a normal kid, albeit deaf, who my dad (and rest of the family) did EVERYTHING for…and yes, was a little resentful. I have often referred to stories where I was told that I had to give up X or do Y to make up for Donnie’s handicap. One such story was saturday/sunday morning cartoons. We spent EVERY weekend with my grandma on the hill, MO when I was a kid (I realize now that my dad was trying to protect me/us from my crazy mother). My grandma had a black and white tv and a color TV. I was allowed to watch the color TV ONLY when Donnie wasnt around to watch it. So, literally, if I was watching cartoons in the morning and he woke up, I had to move to the black and white TV because “Donnie is deaf and you aren’t, so he gets the color tv.” There were so many more of these types of things, but this is the one that resonates with me the most.
Aside for reasons I will never understand, my parents NEVER learned sign language like I did to communicate with him. My dad did a number of things for him. He bought him hearing aids ALL the time (Donnie had “warshed” them repeatedly). He fought for and helped get mandatory TVs with closed captioning on them (don’t know the details, but remember him talking about it) and would only buy a TV that had that. Sent him to special schools for the deaf. Eventually sending him to Missouri school for the deaf. This was amongst all the other things my dad did for him (which I may or may not get into as I write this).
I would argue with my dad and grandma about “pampering” him because it will never teach him to live in the real world. He will ALWAYS be dependent on other people (little did I know that’s how a lot of people exist). I would say things like ” you need to teach him how to balance his check book instead of doing it for him! You need to teach him how to communicate, how to get a job, etc.!” They always dismissed what I had to say.
So, around 2009/2010, Donnie met a girl and they got married. Not soon after they got married, I got a call informing me that he had been arrested and put in jail….later learning that it was due to domestic violence. Mind you, I had not become well versed in this world yet from my ex wife “silver bullet” technique attempts (but she was gearing up). I was dumbfounded because my dad had ALWAYS told us that you NEVER touch a woman, no matter what (and given who his wife was, was a HUGE achievement). He did hang around people that did not have that same “philosophy”.
A few weeks later it happened again. I was totally shocked. We drove back to Missouri (were I was only allowed to go on vacation) where I got a chance to talk to Donnie about this (my dad, grandma, and mother were all saying he was innocent but couldn’t give details). So, I heard him explain his position and how all the events went down.
The one that I was asking about was him allegedly pushing his wife down the stairs. Having been to their house, I was familiar with the area and after he explained his recollection, I began asking questions ( I believed him but was trying to figure out why it happened)…but then his story started to fall apart…when I pressed it out of concern, He said that he didn’t want to talk about it.
So, he gets thrown in jail a few more times and dad hocks EVERYTHING he owns, paid off house that he got for my Grandma, everything! Mind you, at this time he finds out that he has lung cancer and PUTS OFF CHEMO TO MAKE SURE DONNIE DOESN’T GO TO JAIL. So, all the money my dad paid to keep his ass our of jail is thrown out the window because the ungrateful asshole swings a “Deal” to where they put him on probation and if ANYTHING happens again, he gets the book thrown at him. My dad is devastated. And….sure enough about 2 weeks later he is put back in jail for 7 years for spousal abuse.
My dad passes away while he is in jail. I am dealing with my own nutjob STB-Ex wife and get his with my fathers death. I spend HOURS on the phone with the prison trying to get Donnie a grief release, but doesn’t happen. I do everything I can (in spite of all the crazy around me and have a LOT more to say on that) to help him.
Fast forward 3 years and he gets out of prison. I get this text from him(mind you he and his mother tried to get me put in jail because they were trying to be greedy POS’s…will write more on this later:
While my bio brother was hanging out in prison for being convicted of repeatedly beating his wife, I was dealing with my crazy ex wife and worthless “family”, my dad’s death, my grandma’s murder, holding down a full time job and taking care of the kids.
I paid out of pocket my dad and grandmas funeral, paid the house payment for over a year, and paid at least 1 truck payment to ensure that my worthless brother would get the truck, house, etc. and the ungrateful piece of shit wanted more and thought I was “screwing him over”.
So, that’s why no one really knows that I have a bio-brother.