Bonus Daughter birthday – a bonus dad’s perspective

Today is my bonus daughters 15th birthday. In ways today is the first time I have met her, and also it seems like I have known her since she was born…although obviously, that is not the case.

As a parent in a blended world, there are some VERY unique challenges… if parenting bio-kids wasn’t hard enough. you are looked to for all of the responsibilities of a father, but sometimes the rewards aren’t as forth coming. As with everything else, I researched it, reading books from Ron Deals “Smart Step Parent” series, youtube, etc.  and now looking back on some of it, here are my observations:

  • No book or podcast is going to prepare you 🙂
  • Blending a family is a crockpot, NOT a microwave …….. do NOT try to force anything in the blending process
  • Prepare to take one step forward and three steps back
  • Prepare to take NO steps forward and three steps back
  • Understand those kids will pull EVERY trick in the book, it is both their fault and not their fault

And advice for the husband and wife of a blended family, its the same as a traditional family, its you against them. They are going to do whatever they can to play you against each other. You have both got to be on the same page and keep your relationship strong. It is worth it!

But, back to Olivia, In the four years I’ve known her, I have seen this scared, little girl grow into a young woman. She drives me absolutely bonkers with daily drama, moments of being “too” girlie (I like her better as a nerd) but I love her like my own….and most of the time she hates that, ha ha!! But, I hope when she looks back and thinks about this time, she smiles and sees how this has all, for the good, made her into the person she has become.

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching her grow from the bows and ribbons girl into a DC/Marvel loving, Call of Duty playing well rounded young adult. Enjoy watching her begrudgingly take/use my advice in life events…roll her eyes when I make one of my many “dad” jokes that she outwardly can’t stand, but inwardly thinks are funny.

While she is a HUGE pain in the butt, but she is my pain in the butt! I have enjoyed my time with her and can’t wait to see where her life leads her.


Happy Birthday, Stevie Wonder




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